Some of you may have wondered if I dropped off the face of the earth since August, when I sent out my last update letter. Nope, I’m still here! So what happened to me?
I got married! November 29, 2:00 pm in Tecate*, Mexico. Ruth April Cervantes is now Ruth April Cervantes de Gerber (the way names are done in Mexico). Matt & Ruth Gerber…I love the way that sounds! 
I wish I could sit down with you for a couple hours and tell you all about the way I see Christ in Ruth’s life—the way she serves, her modesty, her desire for humility, the way she loves her Savior and loves me, the joy she brings to my life, her heart to support me in the ministry and in missions. This is the second biggest news story in my life, holding the #2 spot in my energies and attention the past four months. Actually not just four months. Ruth has been on my mind since before she came to Ixtlan back in April, but at that point I still couldn’t tell you about it (read my attached engagement story if you’d like more details)! But there’s something even more important than my love for Ruth and her love for me.So, you’re wondering, what’s the biggest news? What could possibly be bigger than getting married?
The biggest, best, most amazing, incredible news is the Gospel—“for God so loved us that He gave His only begotten Son”! The #1 news story is the “Good News” about Jesus Christ. God the Father sent His Son to be born into the world, live a perfect life, die in our place, and rise again. The Innocent punished so the guilty could go free. The Sinless condemned so that sinners could be justified. Christ, who loved us, and gave Himself for us on the cross to reconcile us to God. His righteousness exchanged for my sin. Forgiveness, new life, new power, the Holy Spirit, infinite mercies, undeserved blessings have been poured out on those who repent and turn in faith to Jesus as Lord and Savior. Marriage is exciting, and certainly worth rejoicing about. But having my name written in the book of life brings me even more excitement and joy!
So writing this newsletter is a great excuse for me to do two of my favorite things—think about and tell about my wonderful Savior, and think about and talk about my beautiful wife, Ruth. The greatest gift God has given me is His precious Son as the substitute for my sins. The second greatest gift I’ve ever received from God is my dear wife. Both of these gifts come from God’s rich and free grace. Though I deserved only God’s wrath for my sins, through Christ He has mercifully blessed me with new life and a godly wife. I’m amazed, humbled, and thankful!
I want to say thank you to all of you who have expressed love, encouraged, counseled, prayed, given gifts, and shared in Ruth and my joy as we’ve began our live together. I look forward to when she can meet each of you.
I have some other news to fill you in on.
- Rudy, Rosario, and Nathan returned to Ixtlan after being in Barra Vieja for several months. We’re so thankful for the ministry they had there, especially to Cirilo and his family. Some of you remember me talking about Cirilo in previous newsletters—the man who was dying of cancer? Many people, including Rudy, were able to share the gospel with him during the last year of his life. He died while Rudy and Rosario were there. Several days before he died, Rudy asked him is he was ready to die. He said yes. Rudy then asked him if he was putting his faith in Jesus Christ alone, not in his own works. Cirilo again said yes. This testimony gives us comfort and hope that Cirilo did indeed believe the gospel. We hope to see him in heaven, no longer sick and weak, but strong and with a resurrected body.
Here’s a picture of Alvaro, a 16 year-old boy who I’m helping be able to go to school. I also have Bible studies with him and his family. He’s become close friends with all of us and looks up to us a great deal. He grew up without a father, so I hope to be a father figure to him as much as I can. Please pray for me in my role as mentor.- Spencer returned home after serving here for more than a year-and-a-half. I give God thanks for the impact he had on my life and the way he helped me better understand the gospel.
- School progress has been slow and confusing, as we continue to look for teachers and try to navigate the certification process. Please pray for wisdom, diligence, and perseverance, and for God’s direction in each decision we make.
I give God thanks for each one of you, and pray each of you would have a Christmas season filled with remembering the good news of the Gospel!
Love,
Matt & Ruth
How God Wrote Our Engagement Story
I want to write down the story of how God led me to my wife Ruth for several reasons. First, as an expression of thankfulness and gratitude to Him (Phil. 1:3)! Next to the gift of His Son as the sacrifice for my sins, Ruth is the greatest gift God could give me. Second, for the increasing of my joy, and Ruth’s joy, and for the joy of others who witness the gospel in our lives (1:4). Joy shared is joy multiplied, and the joy we share comes from the good news of what Jesus Christ has done for us! Third, as a reminder to me of God’s faithfulness (1:6). When He begins a work, like the one He’s begun in Ruth and me, He will finish it. When tough times come for our marriage in the future (because tough times will come in all marriages), we will be able to reflect back on God’s faithful work, and regain confidence that He will perfect His work in two still very imperfect people! Finally, so that my affection for Ruth may only grow stronger and more passionate as the years go on (1:7-8). I never want to leave my first love for my dear Savior or for my dear wife!
I’ll start at the beginning of 2008. When the year began, marriage wasn’t even on the radar screen for me. If you were to have told me that I’d be married before the year was out, I wouldn’t have believed you! Little did I know the plans God had for us. I was content being single, serving God on the mission field, recently placed into the ministry, busy as I could be, and very comfortable. For my entire Christian life I’d trained myself not to think about the opposite sex! Even though marriage was something I thought would be nice for the future, in the meantime I believed I was the next apostle Paul.
Well, then I had a providential talk with my dad, and everything changed. I had emailed him about something, and he replied, “Maybe you should start thinking about getting married”. My first reaction was to think, “Get thee behind me, Satan!” This went against everything I had trained myself to think! Focus on getting ready for marriage? I had been focusing for five years on trying to avoid women! But by the grace of God, as I began to reflect on what my dad said, something told me I should listen. Dads do have wisdom, after all. And I greatly respect my dad. So I listened. And that’s when God started to radically change the way I thought and felt about marriage.
It was like God flipped on the light switch of desire in my heart—a desire that had been carefully guarded and restrained for years—until in God’s timing I was ready to start thinking seriously about marriage. I don’t believe for a second that it was just a coincidence that Dad and I had that conversation at that exact time in my life. God was at work.
So all of a sudden, marriage became a legitimate and desirable thing to me. It was like I heard God saying, “It’s good to start thinking about this and wanting to have a life companion. You don’t feel ready, but I’ve been getting you ready.” I went home in March for a friend’s wedding and to spend a few weeks at home. It was my first time back in the States as a minister, and the first time I preached somewhere other than Ixtlan. I remember preaching the morning of my friend’s wedding. It was exciting to be the single minister—young, seemingly bold, devoted to God, unhindered from family concerns. Exiting…for about five minutes! Then it sunk in. “I don’t want to do this alone the rest of my life.” Seeing the joy in my friend and his new bride fanned the growing desire in me to have a godly wife who I could share the ministry with. Someone whose face I could spot out in the congregation, smiling and whispering, “I’m praying for you.”
But even though the desire for marriage was growing every day, I didn’t know who. There were sisters that I respected, but I didn’t think about marrying any of them. But then I found out that Ruth Cervantes from Tecate had agreed to come to Ixtlan to work in our new school. I knew Ruth’s parents and her sister Melody, who had visited Ixtlan while I was there, and her brother Daniel, who worked with me one summer at the children’s home in Magdalena, but I didn’t remember Ruth. We had met briefly when her family visited Daniel in Magdalena, but I could remember anything about her. Strangely enough, when Ruth’s family had visited Ixtlan the previous summer, I left right before Ruth arrived, so we never saw each other. I think God’s timing was in all that. So all I knew about Ruth was that she came from a godly family (that’s key), she had a good reputation (a good sign), she was about my age (that helps), she was bilingual and bicultural (a huge plus for mission work), and she was single (that made me excited and really nervous!). I started to feel very nervous about Ruth coming to Ixtlan. It couldn’t just be a coincidence that God had put the desire for marriage in my heart right before Ruth would be coming. Was God bringing a wife for me?
Ruth showed up in Ixtlan in early April. I still remember when I first saw her. It was a Thursday night, midweek church service, and I had the Bible study. I was scared to death to meet her. My first thought when I saw her was, “Good, she’s tall!” And it didn’t hurt that she was also very pretty. But I was such a coward that I didn’t even go up to meet her—I ran off like I was busy with something else! (I share this detail so you know that apart from the grace of God I’m just a coward—without Him pursuing me I would run away from everything He is trying to do in my life).
From the first time I saw Ruth I felt something I’d never felt before. But I didn’t believe in that “love at first sight” stuff. I knew how untrustworthy feelings can be. I was very suspicious of my feelings. So I started observing Ruth—her character, her speech, the way she handled herself, the way she treated others. And the more I observed, the more I began to respect her and become attracted to her godliness. I admired her love for God, her modesty, her carefulness in speech, her maturity, her service towards others, her kindness, and the skill and wisdom she had in her work. Before long, I was feeling more than just respect and admiration. I was starting to fall in love with her. She was the kind of virtuous woman that I wanted to be a husband for.
By the time June came around, I couldn’t get Ruth out of my mind. I had to share how I felt with somebody that could give me some wise counsel. I definitely didn’t want to do things wrong when it came to a decision as life-changing as marriage. So I talked with Marshall and Jan and Dad and Mom, and told them about Ruth, and how I felt God putting a love in my heart for her. They were positive and encouraging. They told me to continue to pray and let God lead me. My Dad encouraged me to wait until August before I made the decision to ask for Ruth, since I had only known her a couple months. At the time, August seemed like an eternity away! But once again, I remembered that God gave wisdom to dads to pass on to their sons. So I committed to waiting until August.
The rest of June flew by, and soon it was July, and Vacation Bible School. I was in charge (supposedly), and it was one of the most stressful weeks of my life, due to my own poor planning and pride that made me think I could do it on my own without help. So at the last minute, I was desperately asking for help, obviously looking pitiful and at my wit’s end, and Ruth was willing to jump in and rescue me. She saw me at some of my worst public moments that week, yet still respected me. That encouraged me, because I knew she accepted me and I didn’t have to be perfect to have her support.
I was becoming more and more certain that God was directing me to ask for Ruth to marry me. But I really wanted to be sure. Again, in God’s wonderful timing, He arranged a week away in Barra Vieja with my dear friend, Frank Sauder. It was the perfect time, place, and friendship for seeking God about whether I should ask for Ruth. During that time I was reading through the first seven chapters of Matthew every day, and the story of Joseph and Mary’s engagement kept ministering faith to my soul. When the angel told Joseph, “Don’t be afraid to take Mary as your wife”, it was like God kept saying to me, “Don’t be afraid to take Ruth as your wife.” Joseph was struggling with fear. What if I couldn’t be a good enough husband for Ruth? Could I handle the changes and responsibilities that come with getting married? How would God work things out with Ruth being from the sister church? But as I read God’s Word and prayed and discussed with Frank, it become undeniably clear that God wanted me to move forward and ask for Ruth. I came back from Barra Vieja with the decision made up in my heart. Ruth was the one God was calling me to marry. God had faithfully provided the direction I needed.
The next few weeks back in Ixtlan were a struggle for me. I knew how I felt about Ruth, but I still couldn’t express it. I saw her every day, and I wanted so badly just to make my intentions known. But God was teaching me to patiently trust Him. Ruth left with two other sisters to do VBS in Barra Vieja for a week. I remember my heart being torn as I prayed with them before they left and took them to the bus stop. Saying goodbye to Ruth was torture, without being able to tell her how I loved her, watching the bus pull away, and realizing that I’d never felt like this toward anybody in my whole life.
Thankfully, God again arranged fresh mercies for me by sending me home for a week for the Conference. I was able to talk with my parents and my home elder about Ruth and my desire to go forward with the proposal, and they were supportive. I contacted elder brother Mike Leman and shared with him as well. It just so happened (not a coincidence) that he gave a message at the conference on “faith-based marriage”. It was also amazing because he had had a desire on his heart for some time to see the sister churches work together more in Mexico for the cause of the gospel. It wasn’t just a coincidence that God was leading me to propose to Ruth, who was from the sister church. God also had a vision for the spreading of the gospel and the strengthening of churches in Mexico.
After asking Mike to put the proposal through, I began a new phase of waiting on the Lord. It was a week later when bro. Mike called Ruth’s dad (her elder), Jose. Then I had to wait to see what Ruth would say! This was really the first time in my life I could remember needing to wait for something really important. Until then, everything had come pretty quickly and easily. So this was an invaluable learning time for me, teaching me to trust God to work in Ruth’s heart. Daily I battled with whether I would trust God to be leading Ruth without needing me to help Him, or whether I would give in to unbelief and try to do things my own way. God communicated His presence, His faithfulness, His mercy, and His love to me in powerful ways during that time. God was teaching me to know Him better and trust Him more. And to me, that was worth it. I told myself that even if Ruth said “no”, it would have been worth it for the experience of getting to know God more deeply.
After another week or so of major awkwardness whenever Ruth and I were around each other, pretending like we didn’t know that I had proposed to her, and when my patience seemed to be reaching its limit, I finally got an email from Mike. “She says yes!” I was in my room, and I leaped up, gave a shout of joy, and got down on my knees to say thank you to the One who had done this. Then I ran to my roommate Spencer’s room and excitedly shared the news with him (he was well-informed about my feelings for Ruth ever since the beginning). Maybe a little too excitedly, because we left the door to his room open, and when Spencer exclaimed, “She said YES?!!”, we heard a quiet, hesitant voice from downstairs. “Matt?” Spencer and I both looked at each other, feeling like fools! I whispered, “O man, I think that’s Ruth! And I think she heard us!” I was so emotionally charged and flustered that when I went down to talk to Ruth I couldn’t even think straight. She had a question about the school. I was so paralyzed that I didn’t even mention anything about her saying yes! We finished the conversation as if nothing had happened. So much for my romantic skill!
We finally got our first chance to talk with each other that evening about our engagement. And that was just the beginning of our story together. God is the Author, and He will be the Finisher. It’s the story of two sinners who have been saved by grace and are being changed by grace. It’s not the story of a wise, valiant, and spectacular young man who did everything right and earned a beautiful wife. It’s the story of a merciful, forgiving God who gave His Son to redeem us, and with Him also gives us all things that we truly need. It’s a story of God’s grace towards two people who only deserve His wrath. And it’s all because of Christ. He’s the main character in the story.
I’m so thankful that Ruth said “yes!” And I so thankful that all of God’s promises are “yes” in Christ Jesus! I can’t wait to see how God continues to write the rest of our story, for His glory and for the joy of His people. Maybe someday I’ll record the next chapter. You’ll probably also want to ask Ruth to share her version!
